Sermon Transcript
We’ve been doing a study in the book of 1 Peter, and today we’re in 1 Peter chapter 3. We’re actually just going to look at one verse, 1 Peter chapter 3. So if you brought a Bible, you might turn there or use the message notes or the Bible in front of you in the pew or your Bible app or whatever, whatever would be helpful to you. This is not going to relate to most of us in this building, but back in 1961 there was a movie called The Absent-Minded Professor. I know that most of you did not see it, you know, when it first came out.
Maybe you’ve seen it since, but back then it was a Disney movie and it featured Fred MacMurray, somebody probably many of you have never heard of, but he played this guy named Ned Brainard. And this Ned dude was scatterbrained. I mean, he just couldn’t get it together, even to the point where he forgot to show up for his wedding 3 times, okay? There’s a wedding today. Part of the reason some people aren’t here today right now is a bunch of the YoPros are at this wedding.
But can you imagine this? He didn’t show up for his wedding 3 different times. He epitomized what you might call the absent-minded husband-to-be. I mean, he wasn’t even a husband, but he just had his attention focused on all these other things, and especially this thing that he invented called Flubber. Now, you’ve probably never heard of Flubber before.
It’s not the same as flub. It’s a whole different thing. But back in 1961, when Disney came out with this movie, this Flubber thing became such a big hit that they actually came out with a second movie called The Son of Flubber and continued to talk about Flubber throughout those years and so forth. But what was behind it was this black and rubbery-like substance that kind of defied gravity, and it even made it possible for Ned to fly. His Model T Ford.
And when Flubber was applied to sneakers, the players of the hometown college basketball team, they were able to rocket over the heads of their opposing team and win victories easily. So can you just imagine? But what Flubber did not do was it did not make Ned’s fiancée happy. And you could kind of understand if you missed like 3 wedding, you know, ceremonies. But since it was a Disney movie, Ned and his forgiving fiancée in this movie, the Disney movie, his forgiving fiancée, they ultimately got things back together and they got married and they ultimately flew off on their honeymoon in their car and they lived happily ever after, as oftentimes Disney movies turn out.
While we as the audience were kind of left to wonder if the absent-minded professor would ultimately become the absent-minded Now, the reason why I’m even talking about this today is because it’s Father’s Day and you gotta talk about something that relates to fathers, right, and husbands. And so we’re gonna do that, but we’re gonna actually present something this morning from this passage that I think is gonna relate to everybody, but it really has to do with giving attention to that which demands or needs our attention. We could become absent-minded husbands, absent-minded dads, absent-minded friends. Any number of things can pull us away from what’s important. Competing opportunities, hobbies, passions, flubber, distractions, you name it, all kinds of things could come in and make it challenging for us to keep first things first.
And as we’re gonna look at this passage, you’re gonna see that this passage actually written in the first century, but it kinda still sounds like some of the same stuff that we need to hear. In fact, we do need to hear because we still struggle with keeping the focus where it really needs to be. So this is what the passage says, 1 Peter 3:7, Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Now, this is written, as many of you know, by the guy writing this epistle, by Peter. Peter is writing this and he is the only apostle that we know of that was actually married, all right?
We don’t have a record of any of the other apostles, the other 11, married. We believe that Peter was married because you remember that Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law. Do you remember this? The mother-in-law was sick and Jesus came along and he healed her of a sickness. Well, Peter then is used by God through whatever experiences he had through the work of the Holy Spirit to just give some counsel to wives and husbands here in the middle of this letter.
And last week, we looked at the matter that he focused on for wives, and today we’re going to focus on the matters that he focuses on for husbands. Now, what’s interesting in comparison is, is that with regard to the wives, in the Greek language, Peter used 97 words, 97 words to give counsel to wives. And as you can already see, that was verses 1 to 6 of chapter 3. We’re at chapter 3, verse 7 now, and you’ve got one. Okay?
You’ve got one verse. So, here you’ve got 25 words in the original language. So, it just makes you kind of at the outset want to know what’s going on here? Why 97, you know, over here for wives, and why only 25 for husbands? I mean, what— you probably have your own explanations on this.
It’s something that, you know, creates curiosity in people like me and stuff. I mean, For the husbands, you know, 25 words, what is that? Is that because husbands have a short attention span? Is that because husbands, you just— they want you to get to the bottom line quickly? Is that what it is?
Is it because, you know, men don’t like to read? Is that what it is? Or is it because it usually goes in one ear and out the other ear, and so, you know, what’s the point of just going on and on and on? So, I don’t know what it is, okay? So, your guess is as good as mine.
All I know is that what he talks about here is really important because, first of all, he says, That, guys, if you don’t get this, it’s going to mess up your prayer life. Do you see that there? 1 Peter 3:7, that if we don’t pay attention to these 2 matters that he brings into focus here, if we don’t pay attention to these 2 matters, it’s going to hinder. Do you see the word hinder? It becomes an obstacle between us and God.
And I believe in prayer, and I want my prayers to be answered. So this is a matter to pay attention to. It’s not something to be ignored. The other matter is, is that this is a matter to pay attention to because this is a marriage builder. This is a marriage builder, all right?
This is potentially going to help you if you’re married. And if you’re not married, don’t tune out because what we’re going to look at here is something that’s talked about in other places in the Bible that really relates to any relationship. So if you want to build a relationship, make sure to pay attention to what we’re talking about this morning. So, the focus primarily, though, is on husbands, but the wider focus is really on all of us. So, Peter begins, verse 7, with just the words, in the same way.
And, of course, when you have words like that, or if you have the English Standard Version, it says likewise, it’s taking us back into something that he’s just talked about, and the immediate context was he just talked to wives about how to win an unbelieving husband to the Lord and how important are your actions and your adornment and your ambition, that you need to pay attention to those 3 matters because they’re all reflective of a submissive wife. Now, don’t get bugged out about that. If you were with us last week, we talked about this whole matter of submission. You can go back and listen to last week’s message. But essentially what we wanted to hear was as we are submissive to God and therefore we are submitting ourselves one to another, there’s this mutual submission thing described in the Scriptures that it potentially could result in impact even in the lives of unbelievers.
So, that’s where we went last week. Well, today we’re on to the in the same way for husbands. So, from what we started last week, we’re kind of continuing that conversation. Okay, we talked about wives and what wives need to focus on. Now we’re going to talk about husbands and what husbands need to focus on.
And actually, this behavior is also reflective of submissive behavior. Where you are seeking to serve your wife. And there are 2 primary behaviors that are focused on here with regard to serving. So, I like the English Standard Version of how this is translated, which says, likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. That’s the first matter.
Understand your wife, okay? The first thing that he says we need to do if we hope to have God hear our prayers, we need to understand our wife. You’re already saying, well, no wonder my prayer life isn’t working, you know. I mean, I’ve been trying forever to understand my wife and I just still can’t figure it out. Well, go with me on this.
He says here, dwell together in knowledge with your wife. So the idea is, is that you want to work as you’re in this relationship, you want to work at getting to know your wife in every way. And by the way, If you don’t want to, you know, as a statement there because it doesn’t relate to you, just say, understand your friend. So either understand your wife or understand your friend, you’ll see the same application. But the application is easier to understand, I think, than actually understanding the application.
The idea that’s fascinating here is grow in your understanding. Think like she thinks. Try to put yourself in her feelings. Try to discern how God put her together. I mean, you’re just trying to figure out how does she tick.
Now, in the Bay Area, all right, in the Bay Area, one of the things that we’re known for is an abundance of analysis, all right? This is the valley of the Silicon Valley that really is a valley of analysis. We love to look at things and to think about things and analyze things and to figure things out. We love the scientific method, the scientific method. Well, actually, this word understanding, which in some of these translations is translated consideration or also knowledge, understanding, consideration, or knowledge, it actually can refer to scientific examination.
It can refer to scientific examination. So, guys, friends, one of the ways to think about this word is just to think about it through the scientific method. What’s the scientific method? Well, it’s a series of things. I mean, first of all, it’s making observations.
It’s making observations. So if you’re a husband, start making some observations around the home. Oh, she likes things to be clean. She likes things to be orderly and all have their place. There’s an observation you can make.
And after you make those observations, then start forming some questions like, I wonder what that means. I wonder what it means that all these things are nice and orderly and clean around the home. Well, form a hypothesis like, what is that? Well, my wife likes for things to be clean and orderly around the home. See, this is all involved in understanding the scientific process.
And then it would be good to conduct some experiments. Some experiments. You say, what’s that? Well, just leave some things around the house, leave them laying around, and see what she does. See if she does anything.
See if anything changes in her mood. See if anything changes in what she has to say to you. So, you know, Conduct some experiments and then analyze the data. Yeah, analyze the data. You know, come to some conclusion kind of thing.
So like when I leave things laying around the house, tension in our relationship, it elevates. Yeah, that’s analyzing the data. And then draw some conclusions like, you know, I think I can make our marriage better and my wife happier if I just picked up some things from time to time. I think I can make a difference. That’s understanding.
You guys got it? You see, that’s the scientific method. The point of this is, is just tune into your wife. Figure your wife out. Figure out how she’s wired.
Work it through. Figure out, you know, how she’s wired emotionally and mentally and physically and spiritually, how she’s wired. What are her likes? What are her dislikes? What are her concerns and her fears and her plans and her desires and her gifts and her abilities?
And her makeup and her strengths and her weaknesses. Just try to understand. Try to understand. You say weaknesses? Well, actually, that comes up in the passage right here.
It says she’s referred to as the weaker vessel. Do you see that? I know some of you, as soon as you saw it, you said, that’s like wrong. I mean, throw the Bible out. Are you kidding?
Weaker vessel? Are you kidding me? Before you jump ship here, just understand that this is only referring to a woman’s physical strength, okay? This is only referring here specifically in a general way, it’s just referring to her physical strength in contrast to a man that she’s not as strong physically. That’s all this is talking about.
It’s not talking about emotional. It’s not talking about mental. It’s not talking about spiritual. So let me apply it to our relationship, my relationship with Bernice. As far as Bernice and I are concerned, I’m physically stronger.
I’m the physically stronger in our relationship. That’s why I open the ketchup bottles. It really is. So I get to open the ketchup bottles. That’s the one area, that’s the one area I’m stronger in, and she is stronger in the other 3 areas: mental, emotional, spiritual.
She is stronger in all 3 of those areas. So if you’re counting, that’s 3 points for Bernice, 1 point for me. Okay, 3 to 1. I get the 1 because I open the ketchup bottles. You get the idea?
The point is, is that you want to understand how God put your wife together, how she is an expert in areas that you’re not. I mean, around our home, Bernice is the one who figures out the finances, and me wanting to be a good husband gave her that responsibility. I mean, she was asking for it, but I had to let go. I had to let go. You say, why would you want to let go?
Because it wasn’t working too well when I was handling the finances. She didn’t like my system in the early parts of our marriage where, you know, things would not be going well financially. And basically my answer was, it will all work out, it will all work out. I’m a godly person, it will all work out. Okay, well, that freaked her out.
The all-worked-out system freaked her out. And I began to realize, and she, you know, helped me realize, that she was much more gifted in the area of finances. So she, couple years into our marriage, took over the bookkeeping and all that stuff, and I’m telling you, it’s so much better for our marriage. That’s good husbanding. Understand how God has put your wife together.
Not to understand is to possibly put a hindrance between you and God in your prayer life. So do you get the idea? Pay attention. That’s what it’s saying. Pay attention to your wife.
By the way, Full disclosure, a wife didn’t pay me to say what I just said. Pay attention, okay? She didn’t— nobody paid me to say— no wife paid me. They were probably praying I would say that, but no wife paid me to say that. But the point is, is that Peter is saying, listen, live, dwell with, be together with your wife in understanding, in knowledge, in consideration.
Figure it out. You say, well, I’ve been trying to figure it out forever. Make some progress. I mean, the point isn’t perfection here. The point is growing in your understanding and growing in your understanding of your mate, your friend.
Let’s just broaden it here. Growing in your understanding is good for your prayer life, but it’s good for your relationship. So just even in the basic areas, you know, is she an early riser or a late riser? You ought to get that one. I mean, That’s an easy one to figure out, right?
For sure. Is she daring or is she cautious? Daring or cautious? There’s an interesting contrast. I don’t know if you’re on Facebook and get Shannon Duran stuff, you know, from time to time.
She was— she hiked Half Dome this week. She posted that she hiked Half Dome. I saw that. I remember thinking, this is crazy. This is crazy.
Yeah, Rya was over here going, oh yeah, you know, man, are you kidding? She just had cancer surgery this year. She’s gone through all these treatments, all this chemo, all this radiation, all this stuff, and she’s back, you know, and she’s hiking Half Dome. I noticed that Steve stayed home, but Shannon, you know, her husband, he stayed home. But, you know, I don’t know if that means that Steve’s not, you know, like daring like Shannon.
I have no idea. You have to ask Steve. Go talk to him about that. But some of us are cautious. I would be on the cautious side.
I have no intentions of ever, right, you know, hiking Half Dome. Are you kidding? Is she impulsive or is she calculated? If she’s calculated, she needs more information. You just can’t say it’ll all work out.
I promise you, it’s not going to all— that’s not going to work for you. You got to— we got to try to understand. Does she love to talk or is she more of a listener? If she’s a lover to talk, then when you ask a question, you better be ready to listen. You better give her some time.
This is not like a 2-minute conversation. It’s probably going to be 15 minutes. Who knows, you know? Is she a hugger or is she more reserved, like keep, you know, from an arm distance, get out of my space or something? Is she a firecracker or is she a calming breeze?
You know, whoo, or a firecracker. This one reacts, this one acts. Is she neat and organized and on time or is she flexible and mellow and late? Now there’s a big contrast difference right there. I have a friend whose wife is fellow and Mex.
You know, she’s always late. She’s mellow and she is late. When we get there, we’ll get there. And they’re the kind of people, you know, when they walk in, now we know it’s time to start because the last people are here. But anyway, you get the idea.
The point is, understand your wife. Try to understand your wife so that you can respect her opinions, so that you can value her as a person, so you can treat her with love, so you can consider her needs. So that you can listen to her advice, so you could supplement her weaknesses. Great marriages are built on great understanding, and prayers are heard in heaven. Admittedly, some people are going to be hard to understand, right?
Some people, it’s just, you know, I don’t know if I’m ever going to break through on this one, but it’s still worth our time and our attention and wisdom and the development of maturity in the relationship. And if nothing else, you’ve heard this before, give the person the gift of what? The gift of understanding. Give them the gift of understanding. Even if you don’t agree with them, one of the best gifts you could give somebody is the gift of understanding.
Help me understand. I want to understand. Just to understand. Can help a relationship immensely. So, the first matter you focus on, understand your wife, understand your friend.
Then he says, not only live with your wives in an understanding way, he says, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Second matter, honor your wife, honor your friend. So, you’ve got understand your wife or your friend, Honor your wife. And if you’re applying it to a friend, then honor your friend. Now, that makes complete sense, doesn’t it?
Because even as the verse says here, she’s a joint heir. She’s like a benefactor. She’s a benefactor of God’s gift of life. God has given her the gift of life. God has given her grace.
Grace is unmerited favor. So, she has immense value. She has immense value in God’s eyes. And if she has immense value in God’s eyes, then she should have immense value in your eyes. She is equal before God as you.
So the point here is that you honor, you honor this wonderful person that God has created. Now what’s fascinating about this passage is it doesn’t actually tell us if it’s speaking here about a Christian wife or maybe she’s not a Christian wife. I know that the tendency right away is to just say Well, since she’s an heir, a joint heir, and given the gift of life, the tendency here is to say, well, then she must be a Christ follower, that she’s come to faith and the gift of— the grace of the gift of life, of forgiveness, and so that she’s been saved by faith and God has endowed her with his grace and so much more. So, the temptation would be just to put it into that camp, that this is a believing wife. But actually, I don’t know that you can completely draw that conclusion on this passage.
But even if you don’t draw that conclusion, the application is still the same. Even if you don’t draw the conclusion that she’s come to faith in Jesus— and if you’ve never heard this before, the simple gospel is this, is that God sent his Son Christ to give his life so that we can have life with God forever and a relationship with him. But sin separates us from that relationship, and Christ has paid for that sin so that our sin can be canceled, and through Christ our sins can be forgiven, and the Lamb of God, Jesus, can take away our sin so that we can have a relationship with God now and forever. We’re adopted into his family. It’s very possible that that’s what this passage is speaking to, that a wife who’s come to faith in that way, but it’s also possible, because it doesn’t specifically say that she is an heir of life.
She’s just an heir of life. I mean, anybody who has life right now is by grace living. God has given them grace to live. And that in and of itself is a reason to honor people, to honor people around us. It just makes sense that we would honor those that God has given life to.
In fact, not to honor this wife, either way you go on this, not to honor this wife is to slap God in the face. It’s to basically say, I don’t like your work.
Well, you know, 1 Timothy 1:17 talks about the necessity of first of all honoring God. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. So if we’re talking about honor, we want to first and foremost make sure that we’re living a life that’s honoring to God, the eternal God, the King eternal. But it doesn’t stop there.
Scripture talks about in Leviticus chapter 32, verse 8, the first part of it, you shall stand up— listen to this— you shall stand before the gray head and honor the face of an old man. I just thought I would add this one in here since I have gray hair, but anyway, just saying. But you get the idea that, you know, we’re supposed to honor those who are older than us. We’re supposed to show them respect. In fact, the New International Version, instead of using the word honor, uses the word respect.
So they’re, you know, they really work together here, honor and respect, respect and honor. But then we’re told to honor your father and mother in Matthew 19:19, the first part of that verse, honor your father and mother. But then we’re told in Romans 12:10, the last part, honor one another above yourselves. So really nobody’s off the hook here, right? When it says honor one another above yourselves, you get the idea of what God wants in his family is he wants his family to be filled with honoring each other.
So what does that mean? What does it mean for us then as a family, as a people who are either interested in God or growing in a relationship with God or we’re in a relationship with God through Jesus Christ? What does it mean then to honor? What does it mean to honor a spouse? What does it mean specifically for men to honor their wives?
What does it mean for a friend to honor another friend? Obviously, it concerns our attitude. It concerns our actions. It concerns how we treat them. But if you get into the core of what this means, and it’s real interesting because some time ago I was reading this book called The Gift of Honor, The Gift of Honor by Gary Smalley and John Trent, and they just really went into depth on this whole matter of what it means to honor.
And they found that in the ancient writings it actually means something of substance. So talking about a person that’s to be honored is somebody of substance, literally heavy, not in the way we might think, but something of substance or heavy. Something— they went on to say they found that it’s something of value, something that’s costly, and something that’s priceless. That actually this concept was used by Homer, the Greek scholar. He said it this way: the greater the cost of the gift, the more the honor.
The greater the cost of the gift, the more the honor. That kind of makes sense when you think about, you know, if you bought this gift and it cost a lot of money, you know, Boy, you want to honor that gift, whatever that is. If nothing else, just treasure it, treasure it. So honor, they say in this book, and kind of summarizing it all, is this: it’s to treat someone as priceless treasure. Secondly, it’s to give them a highly respected position.
Treating them as priceless treasure, giving them a highly respected position, and thirdly, esteeming them highly, esteeming them highly. By treating them with worth and value and dignity. So this is how we are to honor men. This is how we are to honor our wife if we’re married, okay? Or this is how we’re to honor others.
We’re to see them as priceless treasure of immense value. Give them high position if no other way than in your attitude. So to translate this into our relationship with our wife or friend or whoever we’re going to translate it into, What we want to do is remember that this is a person who has value in the eyes of God, whether they’re in God’s kingdom or they’re outside of his kingdom, but he still values them. He still values them. Somebody who is equal, and it should be our desire to honor, to honor this one.
Now, we can do that by what we say, by the words that we use. You know this. We can say things that are dishonoring by what we say. So we want to think before we speak. We can do this by what we do, by our actions, by our actions.
I mentioned in the first hour something that Bernice and I several years ago had a conversation about. It regarded my behavior in the bathroom. And oftentimes I would go into the bathroom and clean up first and leave the bathroom a mess. I mean, like, it looked like I took a shower in the sink, that kind of thing. The reason I know this is not because I noticed it.
It was because Bernice noticed it, and she pointed it out to me on more than one occasion. And the essence of what she was trying to communicate to me was, if you honor me, Dave, you would actually clean up after yourself. You know, like when you leave the bathroom, you clean up. I thought about that this morning because we have family here today, and I was using a different sink. Usually I’m just, you know, at my sink, and I could kind of get away with some of this.
But today I was at her sink, and so I couldn’t get away with it today, you know, so it popped back. Into my mind again, and I’m preaching a message on honor. I’m thinking, okay, here’s my opportunity to honor Bernice. Take the towel and clean the sink off, you know, dry it off and that. I mean, there’s so many different ways you can honor somebody, just by gifts of appreciation, like even today, Father’s Day, by giving a gift to a father and just expressing appreciation.
At the end of the service, we’re going to give you a gift, men. We’re going to give you a gift, and it’s just an expression of appreciation. Hopefully that’s going to honor you. It could be in acts of respect, just by being courteous, by being courteous to someone. It could be in preparations, preparations that were made.
In fact, this last week I could think of a couple of big birthdays that happened. Bob Howe, if you know him, he turned 90 this week, and they had a big old— the family had a big old celebration for him yesterday. Well, that celebration took a lot of time and effort. They put a lot of preparation into it. Why?
Because they wanted to honor him. And just by the preparations that we make, we can show somebody that we love them. Raya turned 18. Was it this week, Raya, or the week before? Somewhere I’m thinking— yeah, okay, so it was this week.
And so I’m sure they had a big old thing over there on the, you know, 18th. This is a big birthday, right? So I’m sure they did something. No, they didn’t do anything? Oh, I feel so bad for you.
But anyway, so Go with the story, Rya. Go with the story. We honor people by all the preparations that we make and, you know, all of this that we put together because we love you. We love you. You know that, right?
We love you. Absolutely. Katie’s sitting down here. About 2 weeks ago, her and Bracken had a big old celebration of their 1-year-old. And so they gave her the, you know, the 1-year-old cake where, you know, she sticks her fingers in it and puts it on her face and all that stuff.
And they did all these preparations to honor their daughter in that way. But anyway, you get the idea. The point is, is that there are a lot of different ways that we can honor each other, and we should be thinking about that, and we should be treating each other with that kind of honor. You know, when you get married, one of the things often you do is repeat these traditional vows, and oftentimes the vows include to love and to cherish. Well, what’s to love and to cherish?
When you love and cherish somebody, what is that? Well, that’s to honor them, isn’t it? It’s a commitment to honor them. It’s a commitment to show them the love of God. For me, I’m still making progress in this.
I don’t think I’m ever going to arrive. I don’t know I’m ever going to arrive on this whole thing, but I’m making progress. And one of the reasons why I think I’m making progress on this understanding and honor thing is because of a wake-up conversation that Bernice and I had several years ago. After she had come home from a ministry that she was involved in leading. She loved this ministry.
She was really good at it, but 4 months of the year as she was involved in this ministry, it really consumed her time, time that I was used to getting from her, you know, where she would be focused on me instead. I know this sounds selfish because it was, but anyway, so I was recently writing about this And this wake-up conversation. And so I thought, you know, it’d just be as easy just to read to you what I wrote, and Bernice kind of tweaked a little bit. But here’s what I said about this. When she came home that night, I kind of got on her case.
In my defense, I was tired because I had been preaching that morning, and then I had been left to take care of our 3 young kids while she was off at the rehearsal. Having fun with the others that were involved in the ministry. So I wasn’t all that excited about hearing how great the rehearsal went. In fact, the fact that she was in such a good mood, it just kinda ticked me off. Just being honest, okay?
Well, my bad attitude caused Bernice’s good mood to take a nosedive, an immediate nosedive. So we ultimately sat down together because we definitely needed to talk. Well, actually, Bernice needed to talk, and I just needed to listen. So I sat still, I kept my mouth shut, and I just listened as she poured out her heart to me. And as I listened, I finally got what I had been missing all along.
While I had been seeing her involvement in this ministry as something that was great for the church and for God, but not so good for me, I finally recognized that God had gifted Bernice perfectly for this ministry, and she loved being a part of it. For the first time, I saw sheer joy that filled Bernice when she was leading this annual Christmas dinner theater. She loved the writing, she loved the rehearsals and the performances, she loved the friendships she was deepening with the musicians and singers and decorators and kitchen crew and tech team, and she especially loved the impact that this ministry had on people who came from miles away to experience and hear about the love of God. In that one simple conversation that night, she shared her heart, and I finally listened. Even now, I can still feel what I felt that night, a new level of understanding that made me want to honor her all the more.
It was as if a door had opened, and I wanted to walk through it again and again and again so I could come to understand even more about this amazing woman that was my wife. She hadn’t changed. I was just finally taking the time to listen and understand who she was and hopefully give her honor as a fellow heir of the gift of life.
See, don’t push this off as, this is not all that important for me this morning. Are you kidding? This has so much value for all of us. Understanding and honor. 2 marriage builders.
2 prayer builders. 2 matters that need our attention. There are so many things in the world that can grab our attention, but these 2 matters need to get our attention. And when we give attention to these 2 matters, we’re actually elevating what Jesus said is most important. We’re honoring God and we’re honoring that friend or that spouse.
You know, the application is much broader than just husbanding. Take parenting. Are you a parent? Remember the verse Proverbs 22:6? It says, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.
If you’re familiar with that verse, you know that in the way he should go actually refers to the child’s bent, the child’s God-given bent. And a parent needs to understand that God has gifted this child in a certain way, and the parent needs to line himself up or herself up with the way that God has given to that child. So that it’s not, I’m going to raise the child according to my way, it’s to raise the child according to God’s way, to God’s way. And doing that is to honor God and it’s to honor that child according to the bent that God gave the child. In friendship, Proverbs 20:5 says this, the purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.
That’s an application for any relationship. Be a person of understanding. Don’t just settle for cliché-level conversations. It may require— understanding may require— and I love the imagery here— it may require a deep-water dive. But as divers will tell you, what you find down there could reap rich rewards.
And honoring that other person is basically taking deep water dives. Don’t settle for the surface. Draw others out. Get to know what’s in the core of their being. Go deep with them.
So there they are, understanding and honor, 2 ways that we can show greater love for God and greater love for others, 2 ways that we can do what Jesus said is most important: love God and love others. You’ve heard of the UN, right? United Nations. Well, basically what we have here is another UH. This is a UH.
A UH. What’s a UH? Understanding and honor. And really, it would be good for us to add understanding and honor to our vocabulary, and actually not just the vocabulary but to our actions, to give attention to both. Because as we give attention to understanding and honor, both UH, As we give attention to both, our relationship with God and others are going to take steps forward.
And isn’t that what we want? Let’s pray. Lord, thanks that we can spend some time together encouraging each other through the scriptures. And it’s amazing to see that in 25 words there is something here for every one of us, but especially for husbands. Husbands.
And we pray first for husbands today, that we would give attention to a matter that needs our attention. There’s so many other things that get our attention, so many other things that we give our analysis to, that we study carefully. God, may we give our attention to this amazing person you’ve put in our life This woman who you’ve gifted uniquely to be understood and to be honored. We ask for forgiveness for the many times that we have failed you and we have failed to love as we should. We thank you, Lord, that you are the God of mercy and grace.
We pray that your mercy and grace be evident in the relationship that we have. And not just in this marriage relationship, Lord, but in all the relationships that we share. And so we pray broader. We pray for friendships and relationships with people that are not yet friends, but perhaps someday could be, that we might grow in understanding in those relationships too. We might treat others with substance, value, priceless.
We treat them as treasure, as heirs of life, whether they have a relationship with you already or not, that they would feel loved, they would feel from us your love most of all. And Lord, we pray for anybody here today that doesn’t have a relationship with you, that even today might be the day that they would say yes and ask you to save them from their sins. And Father, you would just adopt them into your family. And if they’re not ready, then God, would they be open at least to considering you as their Heavenly Father, considering a relationship with you? If, if you’re not in a relationship with God this morning, just at least open your hands to him and say, God, if you’re real, show me.
I believe he hears prayers like that and will answer them. So thank you, Lord, for this Father’s Day. May we enjoy it. May we honor fathers around us. Most of all, may we honor you, and may we make the most of the day you’ve given us.
We thank you for it, in Jesus’ name, amen.
